When Boredom Strikes
by MidnightWriter99
Summary: Shepard finally discovers why Garrus never takes his goddamn visor off, not even for sex. Fem!Shep/Garrus with a side of Vega, Kaidan and Cortez. No real spoilers. Fill for Kmeme.


**When Boredom Strikes**

Shepard let out a small sigh as sleep continued to evade her for another night. She rolled back onto her side again, looking to the turian taking up the other side of her bed. Garrus had been dead to the world for a few hours now; Shepard wasn't sure if he was just used to her tossing and turning, or whether he was just exhausted.

_Probably both. _She thought to herself. Shepard often wondered if the damn light off that visor contributed to his sleeping troubles. It sure contributed to hers whenever he leant his face against her back.

A mischievous grin crossed Shepards face as she reached out and gently removed the visor from Garrus' sleeping form without any disturbance. _I remember when he woke up every time someone went within five meters of the main battery. _Shepard remembered. _I wonder if he still has that fuck-off awful playlist on here…_

She held the visor up to her face, manually sifting through to the media on the device.

Yep. Still there. Hadn't changed.

_Typical. _She exited back out of the playlist, something else catching her eye. She hadn't realised the visor had video as well. _I'm so getting in shit for this. _She thought as she entered the list of videos. There were only five files on there; two were obviously of Palavan from the small previews presented to her on the screen.

The other three were of her. In bed. With him.

_And this explains why he doesn't take it off - son of a bitch! _She resisted the urge to lean over and smack him in the nose. _It has a god damn record function as well? Of course Garrus has overclocked every piece of tech he owns. _

Quickly slipping out of her bed, Shepard made her way up to her desk in the top half of her cabin and started making a recording of her own.

* * *

><p>"Alright, considering the look we got of the ground layout from the shuttle-" Shepard addressed them as they all hit the ground. "Kaidan, Vega – with me. Garrus, think you can get up high and keep those husks off our asses?"<p>

"You got it." He gave her a quick nod before separating from the others, making his way to higher ground.

Garrus queued up his music through one channel as he settled in, carefully picking off any problematic husks. He could hear the Vega yelling something to Kaidan through the other channel before the next song switched over.

"_You know what's a terrible idea?"_ Garrus froze, it was Shepard talking - and not through their comms. _"-leaving your shiny toys within the reach of a human with good case of insomnia."_

"_You know, you could have just asked if you wanted to record something-" _He tried to ignore her voice as he lined up the next shot so Kaidan and Vega weren't flanked by a couple of Marauders. _"-asshole."_

"_Anyway, I probably shouldn't have snatched your visor either, so I was thinking-" _Garrus let out a frustrated groan as she started describing _things. _

"Hey Scars." Vega's voice cut in. "You wanna start showing off those skills you're supposed to have?"

"If you weren't so busy starting at Alenkos ass, then they wouldn't sneak up on you." Garrus snapped back. _"-imagine, fingers pressing between those plates-"_

"Leave my ass out of this."

"Trust me, it's not the Majors ass I'm looking at- "

_BOOM._

"You were saying?" Garrus asked as he popped the heat sink from his rifle over another of Vegas loud swears his translator couldn't pick up – having sent the last bullet flying past James and straight into the husks skull. _"-my tongue against your-"_

"Do we really need another pissing contest today?" Shepard interrupted.

He heard Kaidan laugh. "Then you'd be complaining that they were being suspiciously quiet, Commander."

"Probably." She answered. "Ok, looks clear. If you don't hear from me in fifteen get ready to provide backup Garrus."

"Aye, Commander." Garrus said back, watching the trio make their way into the building below as he listened to the last bit of the recording. He was quite certain most of she'd described were utter lies.

Enough to bother him with some interesting mental images - but most likely lies to wind him up.

Garrus shook his head before surveying the area again. _A whole lot of nothing. _He thought, at least now he could check and see what else she'd put on there. He clicked through to see the recent changes made, the audio recording was there – but there was a video as well.

He paused, looking around again before he set it to play.

"_Huh, how does it – ah. There we go." _He watched as Shepard grinned at the visor._ "Normally I'd flash you something good here, but you've already got that covered."_ She commented with a raise of her eyebrows.

"_I just-"_ She started. _"I wanted to leave you something that wasn't me making hilarious sex faces or filthy audio recordings."_ Garrus watched as she shook her head, letting out a short laugh.

__"I guess the thing about dying once is that now I really don't want to regret not having said things when I had the chance."_ _Shepard said, he eyes looking away momentarily._ "I'm really proud of you, you know? I think you sometimes need someone to remind you that what you've done, big or small – it makes a difference. It always does."_

Ah. She'd seen the recordings from Menae on there.

"_I want you to remember that. " _She continued. _"I know you don't need me to tell you these things anymore, really. But still."_

She went silent for a few moments before looking back to the device. _"And Garrus – I love you." _He saw one last smile cross her face before the screen went black and it ended.

"Garrus." Kaidans voice crackled through his ear piece. "We've secured the artefact. We'll meet you at the entrance in five."

"That was quick." Garrus replied, he wasn't going to get a damn moment to think today.

"Whoever was here before us was in the process of moving it." Kaidan explained. "We didn't have to do much looking."

"Ah, right. Meet you there." He quickly swapped the Viper for his assault rifle and made his way back to lower ground.

* * *

><p>"Took your sweet time, Esteban. " Vega called to the pilot as he and Kaidan set the artefact down into the storage crate they'd brought for it.<p>

"You'd always wait for me mister Vega, don't try to deny it."

Shepard snorted a laugh as she sat down beside Garrus. Kaidan sitting further up to join in the conversation up near the front, as James and Steve continued to bait each other.

"So." Shepard said breaking the silence between them. "Listen to anything good lately."

"Perhaps." Garrus answered slowly. "Might've watched something interesting too."

"How mad are you?"

"I'm not."

"Me either." Shepard grinned. "Too many Reapers in the galaxy to be mad right now."

"How bored _were_ you last night?" Garrus inquired.

Shepard just shook her head. "So god damn bored. And that thing had already dug into my back once already, so I wanted a bit of revenge."

"I'll make you a deal." Garrus proposed. "_I'll_ take the visor off if the next time you get bored you make some more, realistic propositions."

"That was a realistic proposition."

"Sure it was."

"I hope you don't have plans tonight, because your mind is going to be blown." She said to him, lowering her voice. "Think about it, humans don't have sharp, pointy teeth."

"Humans don't have a lot of things." Garrus countered. "Doesn't mean you aren't dangerous."

Shepard let out a low laugh as she nudged his side with her elbow, the two falling into a more comfortable silence this time. Shepard raised an eyebrow at her teammates near the front who were_ still _going on about who leaves who waiting where.

"By the way, I always appriciate your thoughts." Garrus said quietly to her. "And I love you too."

Shepard just gave him a smile as she leaned over his armour to place a kiss on the side of his face.

"Oh come on, Lola. We're still in the shuttle." Vega called back to them.

"If you can flirt with your boyfriends up the front, I can flirt with mine in the back, Vega."

"That's not – wait, _what_?"

* * *

><p>I just want to write shakarian and squad banter forever right now. I'm not even going to lie about that one.<p>

Prompt: _The Real Reason Garrus Never Removes His Visor, Not Even for Sex_

_Fem!Shep takes Garrus's visor off of him while he's asleep. _

_She puts it on and plays with it a bit because she's too wired to sleep, checking to see if the Turian national anthem really IS his top song. Then she realizes that it has a 'record' and 'playback' function._

_... and no, he hasn't been recording video of combat situations._

_The rest, Anons, is up to you. Maybe she watches it and wakes Garrus up for some 'replays' of her own. Maybe she sets it up on a table and records a few clips for him to find later. Maybe she decides to prank him as revenge and replaces his favorite combat audio track with a record of her talking dirty._

_Imagine Garrus queuing up 'Die for the Cause' and getting Shepard's voice describing in exquisite detail how she's going to go down on him later._

_Maybe he makes the mistake of turning on the music in the middle of a REALLY boring meeting with the Primarch. _

_Go nuts!_


End file.
